Ladies and Gents, this week has been a hard one. Now, usually when I've had a hard week, all it takes is a few FMLs while laughing/crying in some sort of pathetic mess of mascara and ice cream until I'm back to my persistent self :)
As many of you already know, my church has a general meeting for all the members in the entire world forever and amen every six months. In this meeting (affectionately called General Conference), we get to hear from our Prophet, Thomas S. Monson, and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. The topics are both inspired and inspirational. This conference, a BIG announcement was made. (drum roll please)
New Mission Ages:
Boys-18
Girls-19!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Girls used to have to wait until they were 21 to be able to serve a full time mission but now they can leave when they're just NINETEEN!!! Of course, the boys' minimum age has been lowered as well, but since all the boys I know are already gone, it really doesn't affect me much :) This is fantastic news!!! Because of this announcement, many more women of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints will be able to serve a full-time (18 months) mission.
After prayerful consideration, I've decided that now is not the right time for me to leave. I'm not sure why, I'm perfectly willing to go and in fact would like to go at some point. For whatever reason, I feel great peace in the fact that if the Lord wanted me to go, I would in an instant. However, many of my friends have decided that a mission is what's right for them at this point in their lives and are planning on leaving within the next year.
This is where my week becomes hard. Like all of you, I often feel lonely. Not that I don't do fun things with fun people, I feel like my life is always a party :) But sometimes you just don't feel very loved. As I started hearing about all of my dearest friends leaving me for a year and a half, these feelings grew as I realized how much more alone I would be next year. Today, when I thought about all the things I had to do, the fear of facing them alone overwhelmed me to the point of tears. As I dropped to the floor, a weeping pile, I prayed to my Heavenly Father to help me be strong and be able to complete all that I needed to.
Not long after, a talk by President Deiter F. Uchtdorf came to mind.
You Are Not Forgotten
Please, take a second to look at this. It will be worth the one minute and fifty-three seconds :)
I'm not sharing this story to receive sympathy or cookies from anyone (although I always like cookies...) I can't remember the last time I've shared anything this intimate with someone who I'm not extremely close with.
I'm sharing this because I'm overwhelmed with gratitude. Gratitude for a God in heaven who knows my name. Gratitude that He cares about my circumstances and my feelings. Gratitude that He would let me go through hard things so that I can progress. I encourage any of you that are experiencing these same feelings of loneliness and inadequacy to go to your knees and pray. Maybe you've never prayed before in your life, but I know there's someone who hears you. Not only does He hear you, He cares. "If life's too hard to stand, kneel."
Friends, your future is as bright as your faith :)
